LAS VEGAS – The gods of weather and go-kart racing smiled on the early-arriving attendees to the XBIZ Summer Forum Tuesday, bringing chilly-like 90 degree weather to the desert, benefiting the first-ever golf tournament at this event, and a nice crowd of highly-charged competitors to Video Secrets’ indoor speedfest.

Golf had been out of the question in years past because the show took place in July’s 100+ bakery, which meant a few toasty golfmasters by noontime. Buffered by years of insatiable drinking and other life-sustaining habits, your typical adult webmaster can survive extreme elements with the best of them, but Vegas in July proved too much even for this hearty breed.

Still, Tuesday morning arrived with an angry sky overhead and the promise of some desert showers to further cool off the jaded attendees of yet another porn convention featuring scantily-clad wild girls in full-on tease mode and the pale male webmaster types who lust after them. (I’m not a webmaster type, but I most definitely fulfill the other requirements.)

The aforementioned go-kart races revive an activity that used to be a regular on the adult online show circuit, such as it was, years ago. By years ago, I mean 5 or 6 years ago, not twenty. In adult Internet time, one minute equals a year. If you’ve been in the biz more than 10, like I have, you are considered an old fuck, a useless relic and the laughingstock of all the brilliant youth now pretending to be you. For some – not me! – it can be a bitter suppository to insert.

At any rate, the races were a blast, with everyone getting a chance to burn rubber on the track in 10-lap races against 9 competitors. Like they always do, the control factor over the drivers is a little overbearing, verging on the paranoid, complete with the usual threats of instant disqualification for hitting the walls too hard and repeated reminders that “you’re racing against the clock, not the other drivers.” Oh, really?

I checked out the seminar rooms, which are designed to look like a meeting room at the Hague. Porn diplomats will assemble later in the day to discuss matters of international import.

I also took a stroll through the hotel, of course, which only takes a minute because the Hard Rock, as cool as it is, is one of the smaller hotel/casino’s near the Strip. You can’t say it’s on the Strip, because it isn’t. It’s discreetly off-Strip, as we regulars like to say.

And then, of course, I snapped a few furtive shots of rock and roll memorabilia and assorted bling boutiques, of which there are more and more every year in the Hard Rock, which continues it massive expansion despite the recession, or whatever it is.