young_girlAlthough definitive data about the amount of child sexual assault being recorded and disseminated throughout the country is unavailable, the sheer number of news articles and law enforcement announcements about the arrest, conviction and incarceration of people charged with sexual crimes against minors certainly leaves the impression that the United States is awash in pederasts, predators and child molesters.

Indeed, one could spend all day documenting media accounts about suspected or proven producer-purveyors of child sexual assault and never run out of new cases. It seems less like a trend than a plague. What is hard to discern, however, is the actual extent of the problem.

Needless to say, sexual assault is an extremely serious and emotionally-charged crime, especially when a minor is involved. Emotions run so hot that the fact that FBI statistics reveal a significant decrease in cases of forcible rape over the past 10 years have done little to lessen the perception that the Internet has made things immeasurably worse and that social networks combined with the ease of creating digital content has brought the problem to a tipping point. Media coverage and anecdotal reports by law enforcement officials, mental health counselors and child services professionals add weight to the perceptions, even if the numbers indicate a downward trend.

All statistics aside, when sex-related crimes involving minors occur, they also provide politicians with a ready justification to add or strengthen sex crime laws and the resources put toward them. This is understandable on its face. As the parent of a young boy, I expect laws to be both in place and enforced that help protect my son’s welfare and punish anyone who would harm or abuse him, including, were we so inclined, me or my wife.

But I also expect the criminal justice system to find a balance between protecting victims and the unfairly or unjustly accused, and my concern is that we may currently be engaged in a new round of sex crime and predator witchhunts throughout the nation, and further, that we remain obstinately confused about our attitudes toward the sexual rights of minors; a confusion that is embodied in the states’ wildly inconsistent laws regarding the age of consent to be married.

Currently, no state allows anyone under the age of 18 the right to get married without parental consent. Mississipi and Nebraska raise the age of consent without parental permission to 19, and in Puerto Rico, the age is raised yet again, to 21, for males and also for females, who may apply for and receive a license at a younger age by reason of pregnancy or the birth of a child.

When parental consent is factored in the picture changes considerably. Some states put the age with consent at 17, others at 16, some at 14 and sitll others have no minimal age at all with parental consent. Indeed, in California, where I live, with parental consent, there are no age limits regarding the minimum age for a couple to marry, though other statutory laws apply. In Alabama, with parental consent, a minor can marry at age 14, but no consent is required if the minor has already been married.

Maybe marriage laws exist in their current form for the sake of arranged marriages, if any truly exist in America, or for the sake of other religion-based marriages, such as those practiced by Mormons. Maybe they are artifacts of a bygone age when the country actually had a frontier and people didn’t have the luxury of quibbling over a few years here or there. Whatever the history of these laws, similarly to obscenity laws, they feel ancient in origin, driven by religion and out of place in today’s more sophisticated culture. Unlike laws against obscenity, however, there remain powerful biological and philosophical arguments for maintaining laws that allow for underage marriage.

In such a situation where states do in fact recognize the right of minors to get married and presumably to engage in sexual relations in the process, how do we square that reality with the fact that somehow people need to get to know one another in order to (presumably) fall in love and get married? In an age of Facebook, MySpace and Twitter, how do we reconcile these two necessities, if, every time even a young adult – say, a 22-year-old – makes an attempt to interact with someone younger than 18, they trigger a possible charge of stalking or much worse?

We have no choice but to to reconcile these contradictions as succeeding generations become increasingly sex-savvy and open to alternative sexuality at ever younger ages. We need to find ways to protect minors even while giving them the space and freedom they need to develop at their own individual pace. We do see signs of a burgeoning maturity in the fact that some states are declining to prosecute minors for limited cases of consensual “sexting,” but we need to see more. We do not want to make criminals out of those who are not child sexual predators but simply young people attracted to other younger people. I do not know exactly where the boundaries should be drawn, but I do know the issue will not go away and will in fact only become more acute as people of all ages have greater access to both information and one another.

Perhaps the marriage laws already on the books provide a framework for a way forward, if only because they codify what we used to more readily accept socially, that not everyone matures at the same rate, and marriages come in all sorts of consensual shapes, sizes, colors, sexes and even ages.

Below is a list of marriage laws by state:

Alabama    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, parties can marry at age fourteen. However, this parental consent is not required if the minor has already been married. (Other statutory laws apply.) Common law marriage is recognized.

Alaska    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, parties can marry at the age sixteen. Parties can marry at a younger age, also with parental consent. Common law marriage is not recognized.

Arizona    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, parties can marry at the age of sixteen. Parties can marry at a younger age, but with both parental and judicial consent.

Arkansas    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, males can marry at the age of seventeen and under the age of seventeen can marry with parental consent and can receive a license by reason of pregnancy or the birth of a child. With parental consent, females can marry at age sixteen and under the age of sixteen can marry with parental consent and can receive a license by reason of pregnancy or the birth of a child.

California    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, there are no age limits regarding the minimum age for a couple to marry. (Other statutory laws apply.) California offers some spousal rights for registered same-sex domestic partners.

Colorado    The age of consent is eighteen. Parties can marry at a younger age, also with parental consent. Common law marriage is recognized.

Connecticut    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, parties can marry at the age of sixteen. Parties can marry at a younger age, but with both parental and judicial consent. Like Vermont (see below), Connecticut permits same sex couples to be parties to a “civil union.”

Delaware    The age of consent is eighteen. Males can marry under the age of eighteen with parental consent and under the age of seventeen can receive a license by reason of pregnancy or the birth of a child. With parental consent, females can marry at age sixteen and under the age of sixteen can apply for and receive a license by reason of pregnancy or the birth of a child. Common law marriage is not recognized.

Florida    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, parties can marry at age sixteen and parties under the age of sixteen can receive a license by reason of pregnancy or the birth of a child. However, this parental consent is not required if the minor has already been married. Common law marriage is not recognized.

Georgia    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent and/or the consent of a judge, parties can marry at age sixteen and under the age of sixteen can apply for and receive a license by reason of pregnancy or the birth of a child. Common law marriages are not recognized except for those that were entered into before 1997.

Hawaii    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent and/or the consent of a judge, parties can marry at age fifteen. Hawaii offers some spousal rights for registered same-sex domestic partners. Common law marriage is not recognized.

Idaho    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, parties can marry at age sixteen. Common law marriages are not recognized except for those that were entered into before 1997.

Illinois    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, parties can marry at age sixteen. If parents refuse to consent, judicial consent may be obtained on behalf of the parties. Common law marriage is not recognized.

Indiana    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, parties can marry at age seventeen and under the age of seventeen can receive a license by reason of pregnancy or the birth of a child. Common law marriages are not recognized except for those that were entered into before 1958.

Iowa    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent and/or the consent of a judge, parties can marry at age sixteen. Common law marriage is recognized.

Kansas    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent and/or the consent of a judge, males can marry at age fourteen and females at age twelve. Common law marriage is recognized.

Kentucky    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent and/or the consent of a judge, parties can marry under eighteen years of age. Common law marriage is not recognized.

Louisiana    The age of consent is eighteen. Parties under eighteen years of age can marry with parental consent. Common law marriage is not recognized.

Maine    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, parties can marry at age sixteen. With parental consent, parties can marry at age sixteen. Maine offers some spousal rights to registered same-sex domestic partners. Common law marriage is not recognized.

Maryland    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, parties can marry at age sixteen and younger parties may receive a license by reason of pregnancy or the birth of a child. Parties giving consent must appear in person to give consent and provide proof of age if the parties seeking marriage are at least sixteen years old. Also, if one of the parents giving consent is ill both an affidavit by the ill parent and from a physician is required to submit. Common law marriage is recognized.

Massachusetts    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent and/or the consent of a judge, males can marry at fourteen years of age and females can marry at the age of twelve. On May 17, 2004, Massachusetts became the first state to recognize same-sex marriage. Common law marriage is not recognized.

Michigan    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, parties can marry at age sixteen. Common law marriage is not recognized.

Minnesota    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent and/or the consent of the judge, parties can marry at age sixteen. Common law marriage is not recognized.

Mississippi    The age of consent is twenty-one. With parental consent and/or the consent of the judge, males can marry at age seventeen and females can marry at age fifteen. Common law marriage is not recognized.

Missouri    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, parties can marry at age fifteen and younger parties may receive a license by reason of special circumstances. Common law marriage is not recognized.

Montana    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent and/or consent of a judge, parties can marry at age sixteen and younger parties may receive a license by reason of special circumstances. Common law marriage is recognized.

Nebraska    The age of consent is nineteen. With parental consent, parties can marry at age seventeen. Common law marriage is not recognized.

Nevada    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, parties can marry at age sixteen and younger. Common law marriage is not recognized.

New Hampshire    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent and the consent of the judge, males can marry at age fourteen and females can marry at age thirteen. Common law marriage is not recognized.

New Jersey    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, parties can marry at age sixteen or younger. Also, younger parties may receive a license by reason of pregnancy or the birth of a child or other special circumstances. New Jersey offers some spousal rights to registered same-sex domestic partners. Common law marriage is not recognized.

New Mexico    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, parties can marry at age sixteen and younger parties may receive a license by reason of pregnancy or the birth of a child or other special circumstances. Common law marriage is not recognized.

New York    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental and judicial consent, parties can marry at age sixteen. Common law marriage is not recognized.

North Carolina    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, parties can marry at age sixteen and younger parties may receive a license by reason of pregnancy or the birth of a child. Common law marriage is not recognized.
North Dakota    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, parties can marry at age sixteen. Common law marriage is not recognized.

Ohio    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, males under the age of 18 can marry and females at age sixteen can marry and younger parties may receive a license by reason of pregnancy or the birth of a child. Common law marriage is not recognized.

Oklahoma    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, parties can marry at age sixteen (and younger) and, in addition, younger parties may receive a license by reason of pregnancy or the birth of a child. Common law marriage is recognized.

Oregon    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, parties can marry at age seventeen with the exception that if one party does not have a parent who resides in the state and one party has been a resident in Oregon for at least six months, then no permission is necessary. Common law marriage is not recognized.

Pennsylvania    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, parties can marry at age sixteen and younger parties may receive a license by reason of special circumstances. Common law marriage is recognized.

Rhode Island    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, males can marry under age eighteen and females at sixteen and younger parties may receive a license under special circumstances. Common law marriage is recognized.

South Carolina    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, males can marry at age sixteen and females at age fourteen and younger parties may receive a license by reason of pregnancy or the birth of a child. Common law marriage is recognized.

South Dakota    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, parties can marry at age sixteen and younger parties may receive a license by reason of pregnancy or the birth of a child. Common law marriage is not recognized.

Tennessee    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, parties can marry at age sixteen. Under special circumstances, younger minors can receive a license to marry. Common law marriage is not recognized.

Texas    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental and judicial consent, parties can marry but not below the age of fourteen for males and thirteen for females. Common law marriage is recognized.

Utah    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, parties can marry at age fourteen. However, this parental consent is not required if the minor has already been married. In addition, each county is authorized to provide premarital counseling before issuing a marriage license to applicants under the age of eighteen and those who are divorced. Common law marriage is recognized.

Vermont    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental or judicial consent, parties can marry at age sixteen. Common law marriage is not recognized. In addition, a Vermont law, the first in the country, permits same-sex couples to be parties to a “civil union.”

Virginia    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, parties can marry at age sixteen and under the age of sixteen may receive a license by reason of pregnancy or the birth of a child. Common law marriage is not recognized.

Washington    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, parties can marry at age seventeen and at a younger age under special circumstances. Common law marriage is not recognized.

West Virginia    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, parties under the age of eighteen may receive a license at a younger age by reason of pregnancy or the birth of a child. Common law marriage is not recognized.

Wisconsin    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, parties can marry at age sixteen. Common law marriage is not recognized.

Wyoming    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, parties can marry at age sixteen. They may obtain a license and marry at a younger age under special circumstances. Common law marriage is not recognized.

District Of Columbia    The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, parties can marry at age sixteen. However, this parental consent is not required if the minor has already been married. The District of Columbia offers some rights to registered same-sex domestic partners. Common law marriage is recognized.

Puerto Rico    The age of consent is twenty-one for males. The age of consent is also twenty-one for females who may apply for and receive a license at a younger age by reason of pregnancy or the birth of a child. Male applicants eighteen years of age and female applicants sixteen years of age may marry with parental consent. Younger males and females can marry with parental consent and receive a license by reason of pregnancy, the birth of a child, or other special circumstances. Common law marriage is not recognized.